Archive for January, 2019

Facing fears not conquering them

January 31, 2019

After writing my post about courage and receiving some feedback from various people. It occurred to me that I needed to expand on this subject to specific sections.

Fears; it isn’t about conquering them it’s about facing them.

It’s very easy, and something I do well is hiding and avoiding my fears. But it’s when I broke it down did something really incredible happened. I followed some steps and asked myself some questions.

1. Is this fear worth facing?

Being fearful of spiders only occurs to me when there’s one in my house. It happens once maybe twice a year at best. So probably not worth facing at all.

Have a conversation with yourself, is this fear stopping you from fulfilling your life, is it stopping you from doing something, is it something I really need to confront.

Making a list will help establish which is worth it and which isn’t.

2. Risk analysis

Don’t worry I’m not about to go all auditor on you. What is the risk of facing my fear. Is there statistical evidence to back up the risk level. Is the risk that you might look daft or have an impact on your personal brand.

3. Create a plan

Once you have established that the fear is worth facing and you’ve assessed the risk. Now comes the time to plan how you will face your fear. This is where practice comes in. I’ve been taught a lot recently that you only become good at something when you practice. For example, I only managed to deadlift 60kg because I practiced lower weights first.

4. Get some help

When I faced one of my personal fears I sought advise from many people in my circle. People whom I trust to give me their honest opinion. A very nice lady at my work suggested some breathing techniques that worked a treat.

There are also professional people that can help you with specialist fears of you do a google search.

What was my fear

Full disclosure: A few years ago I was the type of person that could stand in front of a lot of people and deliver important messages. I did this without any fear. Until that changed for me.

As you know from my other posts my confidence hit an all time low, anxiety crept in and I no longer was able to deliver anything to small group of people let alone a large group.

I have to deliver presentations, gain buy in from my audience and that’s more important now than ever before.

I have followed the steps and it’s a much improved and enjoyable experience it’s actually quite incredible because I took action before it became a real problem that may of affected my future.

What other fears

That’s a work related fear, but I have taken the same approach to other things in my life.

Becoming fitter and stronger with zero confidence.

Facing the fear of rejection for not being enough – this is something I haven’t fully faced but I have been working very hard to face it. Almost throwing myself into situations and building relationships and taking those risks.

What next

Everyday you have an opportunity to develop yourself personally. Keep yourself on your toes. Trust yourself to take a risk. I have in so many ways. You only learn by taking risks, not all of them work out, but mostly they do. Be brave and be bold.

Dream, believe achieve enjoy the ride. You might just like it.

Goal Setting for Success

January 4, 2019

Goal setting is a process for planning ahead and and thinking about what you believe personal success looks like. Setting personal goals big or small help you focus on what’s important to you.

Learning how to set goals and achieve them mean you are in control and you decide what success looks like.

It’s the beginning of the year and people always talk about New Years resolutions. It’s important to remember that whilst making those very few people actually follow them through.

This is the first time I’ve really considered goals for myself long term ones. I initially considered this year I want to but stopped myself in my tracks. There was no way I’d set goals for this year and follow them through. I know that because I know me so well and I know I lose focus very quickly setting a year worth of goals was counterproductive.

Goal Setting

When setting my goals I considered the following

⁃ What is important to me

⁃ What I want to achieve

⁃ What I want from my life

Clear and specific goals

It’s important to set achievable and very realistic goals. There’s no point setting something that means you won’t achieve (lottery win is not a goal).

Break it down

Pick aspects of your world that your goals will be set against. This will be more manageable and allow you to work on goals at specified times perhaps.

Get support

Setting goals and achieving them isn’t always easy and you may need help achieving them. It doesn’t mean you didn’t achieve them. Think about who in your network would be able to help. This is key to your success.

Share your goals with your network

Sharing your goals with others provides a level of validity. It also gives you a level of commitment that ensures you achieve them.

Stay positive

Hmmmmm one I’m trying bloody hard to manage but it isn’t always easy to believe in yourself. My best advice here, when you feel yourself slipping, stop, take a break and reevaluate. (My blog post: If at first you don’t succeed will help)

Track your success and progress

Journal time, it doesn’t need to be anything fancy. A square lined page notebook at 2 quid from Amazon is perfect.

Reward yourself

It’s is absolutely essential to reward yourself after achieving goals, it doesn’t have to be something huge. A little something that reminds yourself you got that because you were successful at meeting some or all of your goals.

What did I do……

I worked out how I was going to set these out I categorised 3 things that were important to me personally: Life, Gym, Work. These were written up in my note book and on the next page I wrote out how I was going to keep track of my goals to ensure I have achieved them.

I decided that monthly goals were for me. I sent them to my PT for validity. I love that I can do this with my PT, after all he will be instrumental for my Gym subject.

If anyone wants any tips on setting goals or want to talk anything through please do get in touch.

Here’s my goals for January and you’ll see I’ve already set myself up to achieve some of them.