Facing fears not conquering them

After writing my post about courage and receiving some feedback from various people. It occurred to me that I needed to expand on this subject to specific sections.

Fears; it isn’t about conquering them it’s about facing them.

It’s very easy, and something I do well is hiding and avoiding my fears. But it’s when I broke it down did something really incredible happened. I followed some steps and asked myself some questions.

1. Is this fear worth facing?

Being fearful of spiders only occurs to me when there’s one in my house. It happens once maybe twice a year at best. So probably not worth facing at all.

Have a conversation with yourself, is this fear stopping you from fulfilling your life, is it stopping you from doing something, is it something I really need to confront.

Making a list will help establish which is worth it and which isn’t.

2. Risk analysis

Don’t worry I’m not about to go all auditor on you. What is the risk of facing my fear. Is there statistical evidence to back up the risk level. Is the risk that you might look daft or have an impact on your personal brand.

3. Create a plan

Once you have established that the fear is worth facing and you’ve assessed the risk. Now comes the time to plan how you will face your fear. This is where practice comes in. I’ve been taught a lot recently that you only become good at something when you practice. For example, I only managed to deadlift 60kg because I practiced lower weights first.

4. Get some help

When I faced one of my personal fears I sought advise from many people in my circle. People whom I trust to give me their honest opinion. A very nice lady at my work suggested some breathing techniques that worked a treat.

There are also professional people that can help you with specialist fears of you do a google search.

What was my fear

Full disclosure: A few years ago I was the type of person that could stand in front of a lot of people and deliver important messages. I did this without any fear. Until that changed for me.

As you know from my other posts my confidence hit an all time low, anxiety crept in and I no longer was able to deliver anything to small group of people let alone a large group.

I have to deliver presentations, gain buy in from my audience and that’s more important now than ever before.

I have followed the steps and it’s a much improved and enjoyable experience it’s actually quite incredible because I took action before it became a real problem that may of affected my future.

What other fears

That’s a work related fear, but I have taken the same approach to other things in my life.

Becoming fitter and stronger with zero confidence.

Facing the fear of rejection for not being enough – this is something I haven’t fully faced but I have been working very hard to face it. Almost throwing myself into situations and building relationships and taking those risks.

What next

Everyday you have an opportunity to develop yourself personally. Keep yourself on your toes. Trust yourself to take a risk. I have in so many ways. You only learn by taking risks, not all of them work out, but mostly they do. Be brave and be bold.

Dream, believe achieve enjoy the ride. You might just like it.

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