Archive for February, 2019

Knowing the Right Thing to Do

February 9, 2019

I get overwhelmed almost every hour of every day about knowing what the right thing to do is.

I’ve started a new job recently that I have no experience of, and am walking around like bird box so My anxiety around this has recently resurfaced and is overwhelming at the best of times. I would now like to nip it in the bud before it becomes out of control.

Most of the time I do know what is the right thing to do.

But the complexity around the decision, putting it into practice, past experiences and feelings can put me off and I put myself under so much pressure to chose the right thing and end up shafting myself instead.

Sometimes if it’s a decision I don’t want to make I’ll ask a friend that renowned for talking me out of deciding. Subconsciously thinking I can blame them if it goes wrong and that makes me feel like a bad person.

But there are magical moments when I can talk it though with someone else and then I can see the light. This friend always says to me, you know what the right thing to do was, you just needed to talk it through.

The later friend clearly is a master at asking specific questions to make me evaluate and identify all the options available and what the consequences are of those decisions.

My advice around doing the right thing:

1. Don’t ask someone to make a decision for you – it’s your life not theirs.

2. Don’t approach people with a decision if you know they have and urge to talk you out of it. It’s wrong for someone to be able to say what’s best for you when they are not you.

3. Find someone you trust, to talk it through.

4. If it’s an on the spot decision and you don’t want to commit to potentially doing the wrong thing. It’s ok to say, can I think about that and get back to you later.

Sometimes decisions you make you naturally fear you may make wrong ones but it’s the wrong ones we learn more from. Sometimes knowing the right thing to do has made me look like an arsehole, but most of the time the hero.

I know I’m not a stranger with this topic. I work with lots of different people and 95% are in the same boat as me. Someone even said to me yesterday they didn’t know the right thing to do about something. The fact that they talked it though with me means I’m not a talker outer.

Sometimes it’s better to lose and do the right thing than it is to win and do the wrong thing.